Journal

I would like to quit social media completely, but I’m addicted to validation. I tell myself that I actually suffer from FOMO, but the reality is that I’m looking for “likes” and comments and, well, validation. Maybe it isn’t validation so much as it is feeling like I’m being seen. I mean, how else can one know they exist in the world? So many people that I like are starting to share opinions that I don’t like. ...

I sat down this morning, looking to journal a bit about the past few days with extended family, but Emacs threw an error on launch. I fixed that. Then, I couldn’t find a note I’d written earlier. Sometimes I would just like to write stuff, take a few notes, and find things later when I need them, but without all the fuss. I don’t know how to get there.

Good morning. What shall we wring our hands about, today?

I am off social media for a bit. Whenever I feel myself doing nothing but scrolling or looking for likes or thinking of something “like-able” to say, I know it’s time for a break. I’m not cross-posting to Mastodon at all anymore, either. So now, whenever there’s a lull in the action of my life, I feel lost. That’s the feeling I want to get rid of. I spent time this morning working (with Claude Code) on displaying full content on the current daily post, but it ended up fighting what the theme wants, so I decided it wasn’t worth it. Just for grins, I’m now theme shopping. ...

I’m realizing that my enthusiasm for Hugo reflects my current mood about Emacs. When I’m all-in with Emacs, Hugo is my favorite way to manage a blog. When I’m “off” Emacs, I find other ways to blog because my whole Hugo workflow is built using Emacs. The problem right now is that I’m oscillating rapidly between Emacs and not-Emacs, so I post in multiple places. It’s fun having options, but I dislike making decisions. 😵‍💫 ...

I continue to overthink everything related to my blog(s). I want specific things for specific posts, depending on my mood that day. It’s exhausting. The dream of course is to have One Blog. I have 4 active sites right now. That’s more than one, for those who are counting. The new baty.photo blog that I’ve set up just for posts about photography feels like the right move. That one stays. I like using Ghost for that. ...

I’m not even supposed to be here today.

I’m a little tired of all of this. Blogging, I mean. I’ve been writing about the same things on repeat for 25 years. Aren’t we all sick of hearing about blogging tools and software and tech and bla bla bla? I am. Maybe I’ll open a barber shop, like my great grandfather did.

I don’t feel much like writing full-on blog posts, so I keep spouting off little bits and bobs over on Mastodon instead. It’s not ideal. I mean, I just added the /notes feature here, so why not use that? I honestly don’t know. There’s something about it I don’t like. I made the font here a bit smaller and a bit less black. It looked chunky and amateurish to me, somehow. Anyway, it’s different now, which might be all I wanted.

Why bother blogging when even I don’t feel like reading my posts? I guess I don’t understand why blurring my “content” behind semi-transparent UI controls is any better than hiding it behind easily-distinguished UI controls. The content itself is unusable either way, so why not make the controls easier to see/use? What do we think about about the whole /notes implementation here? I don’t think I like it. I don’t feel like creating a whole thing every time I want to share whatever useless thought pops into my head. OTOH, I don’t much like putting everything into these daily posts, either. Not on this blog, in this format, anyway. On the other hand, why not just do it here? Problem is already solved, right? ...

Can you imagine much easier things would be if I… Used (only one) digital camera Put my photos in one big Lightroom Classic catalog Or maybe just used my iPhone with Apple Photos I saw a post where someone complained that the timeline for some community was “…a sanitized version of reality.” My question is, must every “community” always, no matter what, include content from every possible awful corner of the universe? If I wanted “reality”, I’d go read about it, or visit just about every other timeline on the internet. I know shit is terrible, that’s why I’m hanging out in this nice space for a spell…as a respite. Is it not OK to want to be mildly entertained and amused for a little while? I mean, we don’t bitch about, say, The Disney Channel existing, do we? I don’t believe people have the right to demand that every space conform to every situation. ...

Too hot for chores, today, so I’m in my air-conditioned office, futzing with AI tools, server options, and my Emacs capture templates. For some reason, I can’t get a markdown-mode-hook to fire and call olivetti-mode when I open a Markdown file in an Emacs buffer. I’m using the exact method that works with org-mode files. It’s a small annoyance, but this is why I sometimes want to quit.

Posted: Roll 037 Ozzy died today. For a long time, I expected this to happen any minute. He didn’t exactly live a healthy lifestyle. After a certain point, though, it seemed like he might live forever. His “Blizzard of Ozz” tour in 1981 was one of the of the first concerts I saw. I remember leaning my head into a speaker cone, because LOUDER!

With any luck, I’ll spend time today far away from the computer and very close to the lake.

Don’t you wish I had only one blog? I do.

I’m editing this in (Neo)Vim because I feel like living in normal Vim bindings for a minute, without the grief I cause myself trying to use evil-mode in Emacs.

Firing up a new daily note every morning used to be a regular thing for me. Lately, it just gives me blank page anxiety. It’s possible that an “I don’t feel much like blogging” phase is starting. I know this because I don’t feel much like blogging. I have a doctor’s appointment today. Just a scheduled follow-up, but there’s a lot of pre-appointment guilt happening. My blood pressure is a little higher than we’d like, so in our last meeting I suggested that instead of upping my meds, that I eat healthier and exercise more. I’ve done neither of those, so my BP will still be too high and he’ll have to tsk-tsk me and prescribe something stronger. I hate having to take medications, but it’s my own damn fault. ...

Reverting my blogging changes

Just seeing if this thing still works.

Daily notes. What are they for? I guess it’s like having a legal pad open on my desk, where I can write whatever I’m thinking about at any time. The problem for you, dear reader, is that you’re subjected to all of it. I feel a little guilty about that. Not guilty enough to stop doing it, of course. I am a different person every day. Too different.